Seriously? Is this January?

I haven't been in as big a rush to get out of work since they were giving away free 5 pound bricks of cheese at the courthouse in Litchfield, MN back in 1983. The temperature at 4:30 was 64 degrees! So I left my desk a mess and flew like a bat out of hell. I got home just in time for a brisk, 30-minute walk as the sun was setting, and the moon was rising. I even took the dog for a walk later. Could we just keep this weather? I wouldn't mind a no-snow winter!

Keeping it Real

So many blogs I read suffer from excessive sappiness. They convey to all of blogdom the illusion that the writer's life is one filled with raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, and bright yellow packages tied up with string. In other words, perfection. I know better. I know that even the most gallant husband occasionally farts in bed. I know that kids screw up - sometimes badly - and then argue that you're the idiot. I know that a mother's heart doesn't always swell with pride - sometimes it breaks into pieces. I know that money doesn't grow on trees, and that hard work doesn't always pay off.

You may have noticed that this blog has been dark as of late. The last few months have been a bit rough, and I've struggled with what to write when everything isn't rosey. Sister Mary Patrick's words from 2nd grade haunt me: "If you can't say something nice don't say anything." Some of you have asked what has happened to the blog, and I've claimed to be too damn busy, which is partially true. The rest of the truth is that I'm worried that you really don't want to hear me whining about my problems. But this is where we are right now, so I'm choosing to occasionally expose a bit of what is real. It may be ugly. And even stinky. Here are the facts:

• The job that Al took in August lasted about two months. It was not a good fit, so he quit and has been a stay-at-home dad since. Al has been traveling through some dark days. Walking alongside him has not been fun. Some days I don't want to do it.
• Brent still doesn't have a steady job. Though he is amazingly able to get by on nearly nothing and can tolerate conditions that most of us wouldn't, I worry about his future.
• I found out on Thanksgiving that I'm going to be a grandmother!! Darrin and McKenna are expecting in July, and I couldn't be happier! But McKenna has been so sick, and I feel so helpless to know what to do for her. I just pray the cloud lifts for her soon.
• David's enlistment date has been moved up by 2 months to January 23. He's decided he needs to cram in all the partying he can in his remaining days of freedom, and that has led to some conflict at our house. Hearing the garage door open every night at 4 a.m. doesn't give me a very good night's sleep, so I'm a little cranky at times.
• Hannah, who is almost a dream child, is sensitive to all of this. It breaks my heart to see her cry when carelessly-chosen words are spoken.
• Work is as demanding as ever - maybe moreso. 10-12 hour days are the norm, and being a boss means not every decision I make is popular. The hospital has become the safety net for every social ill, and I worry about the safety of my nurses sometimes. Being the sole bread-winner has its own set of stressors, but I am genuinely thankful that I have a job at a time when many people do not.
• Food is my drug of choice, and I've be using it a lot more as the stress level has been higher. I've packed about 15 pounds onto my already pudgy frame, resulting in my highest nonpregnant weight ever. Ugh.

Those are the things I can share. There are other things that I will not share in case I decide to run for President someday. My theme for 2012 is Victory (see yesterday's post.) Victory implies a battle. Battles are hard, and dangerous, and scary. But therecan be no victory without a battle. So into the battle we go - sometimes unwillingly; sometimes nervously; sometimes scared out of our minds; and sometimes with hopeful enthusiasm. I'm trying to make it the latter.

A New Year ~ A New Start

For the majority of 50-some New Years past I've begun the year with resolutions. I've resolved to lose weight, exercise more, read my bible every day, encourage more, criticize less. I muster up a burst of fortitude and shoot out of the gate at a full sprint. But somewhere around Valentine's Day (or earlier, if I'm truthful) I run out of steam. It's a discouraging and demoralizing cycle. So this year I'm taking a slightly different approach. No resolutions, though I intend to make some significant and lasting change. I'm starting at the end. I'm crafting a battle plan; one that includes specific strategies. I'm taking small, and measurable steps. Like the tortoise, slow and steady wins the race. And win I will.

I'm calling 2012 "The Year of the Battle." It is a year that I'm going to stop feeling defeated. I'm going to rise up, take arms, and beat the crap out of the enemies (many of my own making) that threaten my health and well-being. Enemies like bad eating habits, a sedentary lifestyle, fear, discouragement, anger, complacency, and prayerlessness.

In January, I'm beginning Optifast - a medically supervised weight loss program. I'm investing a significant amount of time and money into myself. This program will begin as an 18-week "reboot" of my physical health. I view this as a prerequisite to the rest of the work that needs to be done. It means that I will need to do things very differently. It means that I will not be participating in the annual February Birthday Bash (or at least not eating the food.) I hope that everyone will understand.

In this battle, I am surrounding myself with a team of supporters. Some are friends and family; others are fellow soldiers in the same battle. I hope you will be one of my supporters. I may occasionally blog about how the battle is going. There will be defeats along the way, I'm sure. But I'm not planning to quit. I'm giving you permission to give me the kick in the pants I may occasionally need. And once in awhile, a hug would be nice too.

Mind mapping is simply a way of brainstorming. Wikipedia defines a mind map as a diagram used to represent words, ideas, tasks, or other items linked to and arranged around a central key word or idea. Here is my mind map that outlines my word for 2012 - Victory.

A New Perspective

It's really true that reality = truth + perception. I see it every day. While it may be true that one of our patients has received all the correct treatments, tests, and medications, when a concerned family member notices that the linens haven't been changed, the trash hasn't been emptied, or the food is cold, the perception of the quality of care is impacted. Their reality changes.

All of life is like this. I once heard that reality is 10% what happens, and 90% how I respond to it. That means I have a lot of control over my reality, even when I don't have much control over what happens. It's all in my outlook or my attitude.

To prove this to myself I set out on a walk with my camera in hand, determined to see something in a new or different way. I took the same route I usually take; I wore the same shoes I always wear; and plugged my iPhone in like I always do. By all accounts it was the same walk I've taken hundreds of times before.

But this time I chose to look at things differently. I looked for things that I hadn't seen before. I looked up, and I looked down. I looked at details and I looked at the big picture. And I was pretty amazed at what I found. What new or different things can you discover in your every day?

Noticing light

Looking ahead

Looking up

Looking down

Looking carefully

Listening

Noticing - Can you see me?

Appreciating the ordinary.

Semper Fi!

Yesterday David took a huge first step on his journey into adulthood. He took the enlistment oath to join the United States Marine Corps. As he has done a half dozen times before, he left from home around 3 p.m. Sunday, spent the night at a local hotel, woke up at 4 a.m., and arrived at the Camp Dodge MEPS (Military Enlistment Processing Station) before 7 a.m. During previous visits, he had completed aptitude exams, physical exams, or simply spent time with other recruits. This time, however, he spent several hours talking about his goals with enlistment officers in order to make sure this was really what he wanted to do. Then, at around 1 p.m., seven young men were led in reciting the following:

I, David Miedema, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegience to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.

I felt a bit like I do whenever I see a young couple recite their wedding vows...hopeful, emotional, and just a bit sorry for the poor young folks who have no clue what they are getting into. These seven boys were so young; kids really.  But their eyes revealed their excitement about becoming soldiers.

David is in a delayed enlistment program, which means he won't actually enter until next March. Meanwhile, he will participate in local exercises with his recruiter and other recruits in order to prepare for the rigors of boot camp. Until March, life won't change much. He will continue to work part time, play X-Box, and hang out with friends. But come next March this young man will get on a fast track to manhood! Let's pray that we bring our guys home from Afganistan before then.

The Winds of Change

There have been a few goodbyes this month. Some goodbyes are a welcome sigh of relief - like the goodbye to surveyors from the Department of Inspections and Appeals who have camped at our hospital for what seems like forever. Some goodbyes are nearly disabling - like the goodbyes David is saying to friends who are headed off to college while he remains unable to envision exactly what his future looks like. And some goodbyes are a bittersweet mixture of sadness and eager anticipation - like the Big Goodbye Al has said to Office Depot after over 15 years of working for the company.

This has been Al's workplace since we moved to Des Moines to open this store in June of 1998. Hannah was only 4 months old, and Darrin was entering high school. This store has served Al as much as he has served it by being less than 3 miles from our house, and by providing many dear friends over the years. Al led this store as a ministry - using it to provide employment to many friends and acquaintances who had unexpectedly found themselves without work. Because he insisted on the highest standards of customer service, he had a loyal following of customers. I recall being on an airplane flying back to Des Moines after a business trip when the man sitting next to me, with whom I had been making small talk, commented that he would drive across town to do business at that particular Office Depot.

Al has felt a restless dissatisfaction for several months now. It appears that Office Depot is in turmoil as a company, and the effects are being felt at the store level. So when an opportunity arose, Al decided it was time to move on. Last week, he started a new job for this company.

Party City  is a growing company with profits that are soaring despite the difficult economy. I guess people still want to host themed birthday parties and have color-coordinated paperware for graduation parties. Yes, it is still retail. But apparently Party City is not one of the places that people flock to on Black Friday or the day after Christmas, so that's a good thing. Their busy time is Halloween, but apparently there isn't a need to keep extended store hours even then. Job growth potential is good. Al will be the general manager of the store in Ankeny, Iowa. There are several additional stores scheduled to open in Iowa.

Change is always a curious combination of excitement and anxiety. It was so nice knowing that Al was close to home if one of the kids needed to be taken to a dentist appointment or to be available for the washing machine repair man. Quite selfishly, I'm going to miss some of the deep discounts on new computers and electronic gadgetry. I'm not quite as thrilled at the prospect of half-price paper plates (Halloween costumes, perhaps.) I worry that we may someday find ourselves faced with decisions about moving again. And I'm not looking forward to the next several weeks of training, when Al will need to be in Wisconsin for five days every week.

Looking backward, I know that God has directed our every step. He has brought incredible good out of every move - career and home - that we've made. I'm thrilled to see energy and excitement in Al's eyes again.

The End of an Era

With great anticipation, and with a little sadness, Hannah and I (along with Hannah's friend Greta) stood in line just before midnight on July 15 to see the final installment of the Harry Potter series, The Deathly Hollows - Part II. Even the moon cooperated in the event by being full and bright. Little Harry, whom we first met in ten years ago, is all grown up now. While his friends at Hogwarts have been refining their magical talents and enjoying the frivolity of adolescence, Harry has grown up far too fast. The fate of the magical world rests squarely on his shoulders. The series is really a messiah story, as Harry is faced with a decision to lay down his life for his fellow wizards. With the support of his parents and others who have preceded him in death, Harry does so willingly. Of all the movies, this final chapter was without a doubt my favorite. I may need to see this one again just to relish it fully.

Hannah was only three years old when young Daniel Radcliffe rose to stardom as he portrayed 11-year-old Harry Potter in the very first of the series in 2001. But since then, she has watched every movie, first on VHS tapes and now on DVD. We have all the books (I'm reading them now after the fact.) I can't recall how many birthday parties and sleepovers have involved Harry Potter, or how many times we have re-watched the movies. There is no doubt that the Harry Potter series will be remembered as some of the iconic movies of her childhood, and Harry's story will told and retold for years to come. It will be interesting to see how high school English classes and college literature courses address the Harry Potter books. Will Harry be viewed as a religious metaphor? Will the "Ministry of Magic" become an allegory for modern government? Or will we simply remember this as a fantasy-filled children's story?

And so this tribute seems fitting, as we bid farewell to Harry, Hermoine, Ron, Dumbledore, Snape, Hagrid, and a host of other lovable characters. And, of course, Lord Voldemort. We won't miss him at all.

2001

2002

2004

2005

2007

2010