New Beginnings

An old friend (well, she's not old, but we've known each other a long time) asked me whether I had stopped keeping my blog. I knew I hadn't been here in a while, but holy smokes, not since July of 2012?! It can't possibly be that long!

I don't know where to start. Life careens by at such a ridiculous pace that 9 months ago seems like only yesterday, but again seems like a lifetime. It's difficult to wax eloquent about a period of time during which life has fundamentally changed. So I won't even try. I'll let the photos tell the story. And then I'll see if I can begin again. After all, there are always things to talk about...

 

And then everything came to a screeching halt.

December 31, 2012. New Year's Eve will never be the same. Yet out of the ashes arises hope eternal. New beginnings. Life does go on.

On Being the Mother of a Marine

I wear no uniform; no dress blues, no cammie greens,

but I AM in the military among the ranks rarely seen.

I have no stripes upon my shoulder and salutes I do not give.

But the military is the world in which I live;

I am the PROUD MOM of a US MARINE!

"Ain't nothin' tougher than a Marine, 'cept his Mama."

  

Even though David won't officially be a Marine until the completion of his Crucible in a little over a week, I'm starting to feel like I'm the mother of a Marine. I'm sure I don't yet understand all that means, but I do suspect it includes learning how to handle new emotions.

Hannah and I went to see a  movie last night, and before the previews we were treated to this.



I was caught off guard by an instant attack of leaking eyeballs. It didn't seem to have that effect on anyone else in the packed theater, and I could tell that Hannah desperately wanted to move somewhere far away from me. So this must be what it means to be the mother of a Marine. I couldn't quite tell if it was pride, or fear, or missing my boy, or the fact that I only had 3 hours of sleep the night before.

Guess I'd better keep a pack of kleenex in my purse at all times.

Planning Easter Dinner

One of the down sides of being the only female sibling in the area with two younger brothers and one widowed dad is that I'm usually the one who is expected to coordinate holiday gatherings. I know many women who accept this role, take it in stride, and even love it. Not me. I spend my day every day coordinating, facilitating, and leading. Sometimes I just want someone else to make the decisions and tell ME what to do. So when Dad sent the following email, I decided to have some good old passive-aggressive fun.

Are the locals interested in having a late lunch at my house on Easter? If so figure out what we will have.
Dad

I'm up for it. It will probably just be Hannah and me. I can bring ham if that would help.
F.

Wyatt and I are in. I can bring whatever. (Which we all know is code for "Just tell me what to do.")
Chris

I like whatever - especially if it is broiled with just a bit of lemon pepper. Perhaps Jason and Jo can bring something.
So the menu will be:
Ham
Whatever
Something

F.

Sorry for the late response but we were uncertain what we were doing. Anyway, we are in and can bring whatever.
Jason

Sorry, but Chris is bringing whatever, and too much whatever gives me serious gas.
You will need to bring something, as outlined in the finalized menu below.
Felicia

If Jason wants to bring whatever, then I guess I will bring something. Why does Jason have to be so difficult!!
Chris

Fine, I will bring something.
Jason

Who am I kidding? We all know how this is going to play out.

First Snow 2012

Well, technically it wasn't the very first snow of the season, but it was the first one for which the snow blower came out of hibernation. It was the first that was snowball-worthy. It was the first that beckoned one almost 14-year-old girl to make snow angels. And it was the first that gave me an excuse to stay in my jammies - at least until afternoon.

Seriously? Is this January?

I haven't been in as big a rush to get out of work since they were giving away free 5 pound bricks of cheese at the courthouse in Litchfield, MN back in 1983. The temperature at 4:30 was 64 degrees! So I left my desk a mess and flew like a bat out of hell. I got home just in time for a brisk, 30-minute walk as the sun was setting, and the moon was rising. I even took the dog for a walk later. Could we just keep this weather? I wouldn't mind a no-snow winter!

A New Perspective

It's really true that reality = truth + perception. I see it every day. While it may be true that one of our patients has received all the correct treatments, tests, and medications, when a concerned family member notices that the linens haven't been changed, the trash hasn't been emptied, or the food is cold, the perception of the quality of care is impacted. Their reality changes.

All of life is like this. I once heard that reality is 10% what happens, and 90% how I respond to it. That means I have a lot of control over my reality, even when I don't have much control over what happens. It's all in my outlook or my attitude.

To prove this to myself I set out on a walk with my camera in hand, determined to see something in a new or different way. I took the same route I usually take; I wore the same shoes I always wear; and plugged my iPhone in like I always do. By all accounts it was the same walk I've taken hundreds of times before.

But this time I chose to look at things differently. I looked for things that I hadn't seen before. I looked up, and I looked down. I looked at details and I looked at the big picture. And I was pretty amazed at what I found. What new or different things can you discover in your every day?

Noticing light

Looking ahead

Looking up

Looking down

Looking carefully

Listening

Noticing - Can you see me?

Appreciating the ordinary.

The Winds of Change

There have been a few goodbyes this month. Some goodbyes are a welcome sigh of relief - like the goodbye to surveyors from the Department of Inspections and Appeals who have camped at our hospital for what seems like forever. Some goodbyes are nearly disabling - like the goodbyes David is saying to friends who are headed off to college while he remains unable to envision exactly what his future looks like. And some goodbyes are a bittersweet mixture of sadness and eager anticipation - like the Big Goodbye Al has said to Office Depot after over 15 years of working for the company.

This has been Al's workplace since we moved to Des Moines to open this store in June of 1998. Hannah was only 4 months old, and Darrin was entering high school. This store has served Al as much as he has served it by being less than 3 miles from our house, and by providing many dear friends over the years. Al led this store as a ministry - using it to provide employment to many friends and acquaintances who had unexpectedly found themselves without work. Because he insisted on the highest standards of customer service, he had a loyal following of customers. I recall being on an airplane flying back to Des Moines after a business trip when the man sitting next to me, with whom I had been making small talk, commented that he would drive across town to do business at that particular Office Depot.

Al has felt a restless dissatisfaction for several months now. It appears that Office Depot is in turmoil as a company, and the effects are being felt at the store level. So when an opportunity arose, Al decided it was time to move on. Last week, he started a new job for this company.

Party City  is a growing company with profits that are soaring despite the difficult economy. I guess people still want to host themed birthday parties and have color-coordinated paperware for graduation parties. Yes, it is still retail. But apparently Party City is not one of the places that people flock to on Black Friday or the day after Christmas, so that's a good thing. Their busy time is Halloween, but apparently there isn't a need to keep extended store hours even then. Job growth potential is good. Al will be the general manager of the store in Ankeny, Iowa. There are several additional stores scheduled to open in Iowa.

Change is always a curious combination of excitement and anxiety. It was so nice knowing that Al was close to home if one of the kids needed to be taken to a dentist appointment or to be available for the washing machine repair man. Quite selfishly, I'm going to miss some of the deep discounts on new computers and electronic gadgetry. I'm not quite as thrilled at the prospect of half-price paper plates (Halloween costumes, perhaps.) I worry that we may someday find ourselves faced with decisions about moving again. And I'm not looking forward to the next several weeks of training, when Al will need to be in Wisconsin for five days every week.

Looking backward, I know that God has directed our every step. He has brought incredible good out of every move - career and home - that we've made. I'm thrilled to see energy and excitement in Al's eyes again.

A Whole Lot of Catching Up to Do

What the heck happened to the last three months?! When I got off the plane from D.C., I think I must have stepped onto a hyperspace time machine that has fast-forwarded my life. I vaguely remember some pretty significant events - almost too many to list in one blog post, but here are the highlights:

1. A birthday. Mine. I turned 52. Ugh.
2. A Joint Commission survey at work. Major stress.
3. An Easter performance. Hannah danced.
4. Attending softball games dressed in winter coats and wrapped in blankets.
5. Begging, pleading, and bribing one said 18-year-old in order to get the necessary work done to meet the requirements for high school graduation.
6. A trip to Las Vegas for work.
7. Attending softball games dressed in rain ponchos and hanging onto umbrellas for dear life.
8. Another Joint Commission visit. Even more stress.
9. Piano recital and band concert. The addition of a tenor sax to Hannah's musical repertoire.
10. More begging and pleading. And to be brutally honest, some hefty "assistance" with the completion of one composition class.
11. Darrin and McKenna's one year wedding anniversary (Can it possibly be a year already?)
12. Attending softball games dressed in shorts and tank tops.
13. David's GRADUATION!

14. Memorial Day weekend in Kansas City (Yes, more softball!)

15. Sandbagging around Warren and Sarah's home in preparation for the 'Revenge of the Missouri River' flooding.

16. Our 32nd wedding anniversary. Good Lord, how can that be?!
17. Dad's 16th cardioversion.
18. Graduation Open House.

Wow! By anyone's standards, that is a full spring! No wonder the blog has taken a back seat.

In the midst of all of this chaos, I've done some reflecting. As John Lennon sang, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." I'm afraid I've been all too guilty of worrying so much about "the next thing" that I miss the joy in the moment I'm in. So here are some of the things that didn't make the list above that, in hindsight, have contributed to some moments worth mentioning.

1. A new iPhone - I really like the silly thing, even if it is - as Al puts it - "a short leash." It has opened music up to me again in a way I haven't experienced since the days of cassette tapes. And did you know you can read books on an iPhone? IF you have functional eyes, that is.
2. A long walk (actually, more than one) to clear my head after one of many conflicts with Al, Brent, or David. Sometimes I feel like I can't say anything right, so a long walk and a bit of prayer is my self-therapy. And this helps too (taken with the iPhone mentioned above.)
3. Hannah's rendition of Over the Rainbow on piano. She's actually very good, and this is one of my all-time favorites.
4. Cute little Scotty McCreery winning American Idol. Even though I don't really like country music, I'm going to keep an eye on that one. I'm guessing he will be a big country star someday soon.
5. Darrin taking James Winterbottom under his wing and playing some wonderful guitar duets at David's graduation open house. James and David waited together for the bus on the first day of kindergarten, and every first day of school since. James' mother, Cyndi, was there with her camera and I think I saw a tear in her eye. Definitely a moment.
6. Darrin leading the DTC band as they opened for someone more famous (even though I have forgotten his name!) They were hands down better than the famous guy. 

7. A conversation with Brent during which he actually demonstrated some insight into where his life needs to go. I praised God so hard for this glimmer of hope that I thought I would burst!
8. A night out with Dad, watching the seniors dance the night away to big band music. They put me to shame, and gave me something to look forward to. (Do I see a music theme going here?)

Hopefully now that summer is half over and some of the frenzy has slowed just a bit, I can keep up with the blog a little better. Hopefully.

56 Degrees!

The exterior Christmas decorations are down, and I took not one, but TWO walks today! The creek was running and the snow melted. It was positively balmy. What a wonderful, belated Christmas gift - especially when just three days ago I awoke to this:

Now don't get me wrong. I love the beauty of a winter wonderland. But I despise the cold! So today's melt was a welcome treat. I hear we are headed back into the deep freeze this weekend. And next week, it's back to the reality of work and school.

What happens when you leave a message on the Miedema answering machine...

....or "Why email is usually your best bet."


I have made it a policy never to publicly bash my husband on my blog. But occasionally something happens that so perfectly illustrates the hard fact that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Here's the most recent such example from our house. It might give you just a bit of insight about why I seem to be losing my mind.

Al: Did you get the message from Susan Janzen?

Felicia: You mean Shannon?

Al: Shannon who?

Felicia: Shannon Janzen.

Al: Whatever.

(Pregnant pause)

Felicia: Well, what was it?

Al: What was what?

Felicia: The message!

Al: Oh, something about your bible study.

Felicia: What about my bible study?

Al: I don’t know. She wanted you to leave something in someone’s mailbox at church.

Felicia: Who’s mailbox?

Al: I can’t remember.

Felicia: Let me listen to the message.

Al: I erased it.

Felicia: Why did you erase it?

Al: Because I figured you knew.

Felicia: How would I have known?

Al: It’s your bible study.

Felicia: That’s ridiculous!

Al: Why do you get so stressed out about everything? Call her back if it’s so darn important.

Catching Up.

It's been awhile and there's a lot to catch up on. First, here is a layout I did recently after an unplanned trip back to my childhood home. I completely forgot my camera, so I took these photos with my cell phone. From a photo quality perspective, they suck. But they mean something to me and helped me tell this story. Someday I will take a trip up there with a better camera. Click on either to enlarge.

And speaking of cameras, after at least a year of research and envying every person I saw with one of these, I bought this mean machine. The next day I purchased a copy of Canon EOS 7D for Dummies. The title fits.

My RebelXT was a faithful companion for five years, but at a mere 8 megapixels it just couldn't keep up anymore. I've rationalized spending the equivalent of two months of mortgage payments by planning to shoot David's senior pictures. That'll save me around $500 right there. Of course, it's already cost me another $100 in bribe money to get David to cooperate with that plan.

Almost immediately after taking it out of the box and charging the battery, I headed to one of my favorite places to take photos - the State Capitol. I'm pretty pleased with the results.

The view facing east on Locust Street. Yes, I am standing in the middle of the street!

The gold dome of the capitol

From the capitol steps

Reflection of the Capitol on the Henry A. Wallace building.

But my very favorite subjects are people. Here is a candid of Hannah at this week's 11U World Series Softball Tournament. I think this pretty much captures who she is. She and her team mates played some incredible softball. I'm increasingly impressed with the skills these 12 year old girls have. Any one of them could run circles around me.