What I Really Want for Mother's Day

I need to state up front that the idea for this blog post wasn't mine. I saw a blog post similar to this and thought it was such a good idea that I stole it and made it my own. The specifics are all mine.

My beloved children:

Let me save you the trouble of rushing out for a last-minute card and flowers. I hate to say it, but that has never really done it for me. The card is overpriced and the flowers are dead in a couple of days.

What I really want for mother's day doesn't need to cost you one red cent.

I want you to love God. I want you to obey his word and seek him with your whole heart. I want to catch you reading your bible or praying. Nothing else in life will make sense until you get this first one figured out.

I want you to honor your parents. Not because we are such wonderful people - we aren't. But because God promises "you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." This is the only command that contains a promise, so God must have known he would need to bribe you to obey it.

I want you to be kind to one another. Someday, when your father and I are gone, you will mean more to each other than you can know. Please don't let some thoughtless impulse or silly grudge put a wedge in the fact that you are family. Hold one another up in the hard times, and celebrate together in the good times. Plan time together, even if it isn't convenient.

I want you to be kind to others. Be helpful. Speak encouraging words. Avoid being critical and negative.

I want you to be known for your integrity. Be honest. Let all the words you speak be true; but all that is true does not need to be said.  Don't embellish the facts for your own gain. If you make a promise, keep it.

I want you to seek ways to serve others. See something that needs to be done and do it - without being asked. Study those you love and serve them in ways that are meaningful to them -  rather than in ways  you would like to be served. Take a meal to someone who is ill. Mow lawn for a busy single mom. Go on a mission trip.

I want you to work hard at whatever you do. Avoid the temptation to slide by. Let it never be said of you that you are lazy. Be content in your work, whether you enjoy it or not. As long as you have hands that can grasp, legs that can stand, a sound mine, and food on the table you are blessed.

I want you to be financially responsible. No matter how much you earn, create a budget and stick to it. Save a little out of every paycheck. Don't borrow money you can't pay back. Avoid credit cards unless you can pay the balance entirely every month. Give cheerfully.

I want you to take care of your body. It is the only one you get. Eat healthy food. Exercise regularly. Don't smoke - ever. This is one that most people learn far too late, so start now and never get complacent.

I want you to never stop growing and learning. Seek to improve yourself continually. Read. Take a class. Cultivate your talents.

I want you to be all that God intended you to be. Push yourself to be your best. Remove anything that stands as an obstacle between you and your potential. Ask for advice - and take it. Don't ever believe the lie that it is too late.

Just in case you are still looking for that perfect Mother's Day gift, here are a few more selfish requests:

I want a clean house. I've had this on my list every Christmas, Birthday and Mother's Day for years, and it will remain on my list until Molly Maids is hired or a loving gang of able-bodied people descends upon it and gets it done. And don't forget the windows.

I love picnics. Even those that take place on the living room floor.

I love breakfast in bed, but not a full 7 course meal. A cup of coffee and my breakfast shake would be fine.

I love any dinner that I don't have to cook. It's even better if it's relatively healthy.

I'd love to sleep in.

I love photos. Of you.

But most of all, I love spending enjoyable time with you.

You. Just you. That's all I want for Mother's Day.

 

 

Boot Camp Graduation, Leave, and Back Again

I've been procrastinating on writing this post. A blog post is not supposed to be a dissertation or lengthy exposé. I've read some of those, and they are usually only interesting to the author. So in the words of Inigo Montoya (Princess Bride - 1987),

Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

Al and I traveled to the Marine Corps Recruit Depot San Diego for David's graduation from boot camp on May 11. We stayed at Depot Billeting (temporary housing that they open to families during graduation weeks.) I would highly recommend it, not because of the posh accomodations (they aren't) but because we experienced so much more than we could have otherwise. We caught our first glimpse of Bravo Company on Wednesday evening. Just knowing that David was somewhere in the midst of that 300+ strong group of men was exciting. We were almost the only civilians wandering around the base and were able to get some great photos without the throngs of people who arrived on Thursday.

Thursday was Family Day. It began with the traditional Motivational Run (a.k.a. Moto Run.) The new Marines ran 4 miles in perfect cadence while family and friends lined the parade deck and cheered them on. It was our first glimpse of David. He looked serious and strong. Later that morning the company was dismissed for 6 precious hours of on-base liberty, during which we spent some of the most enjoyable hours of my entire life with our new Marine. We heard boot camp stories, went shopping at the PX, ate lunch AND dinner (man, that boy can eat!), spent an hour or so in our room while he made phone calls to friends and siblings, and toured the base. As we watched him walk back to his barracks for the last night of boot camp, we knew that our little boy had turned into a man.

Graduation Day was non-stop pomp and circumstance. Three months of drill practice displayed itself in perfect precision as Platoon 1029 led the company onto the Parade Deck. The MCRD Marine Corps Marching Band provided the perfect patriotic atmosphere.

There are simply no words for the emotions. Pride, yes, but inching very close to Awe. Intense patriotism. Gratitude - for the Drill Instructors who performed near miracles in the lives of these young recruits, and to God for guarding their safety. Humility - in witnessing such tradition and symbolism we became somberly aware that the Marine Corps is something far bigger than the sum of the soldiers that comprise it. Camaraderie - we were welcomed over and over into the Marine Family - and we felt it.Other parents and spouses became instant friends.

There are rare days in the course of life that are so perfect they make all of the other ordinary, mundane, and even miserable days worth it. These were two such days. And then we took Pvt. David J Miedema home for 10 days of well-deserved leave.

Someday, when you see David, ask him to tell you about:

• 3 a.m. firewatch
• Packing into the 'rain room' in their tighty whities
• Sick bay
• Getting IT'd
• The correct posture for eating
• Countdowns
• Being 'fired' from managing the 'whisky closet'
• Climbing the Reaper
• 60 second showers
• The gas chamber
• Shirt stays
• A trip to the hospital after completing the Crucible (fortunately, no body parts were lost)

I'm sure those are the mom-friendly stories, but they were enough for me to know that boot camp is a life-changing experience and that it is absolutely true that every Marine remembers the names of his Drill Instructors to his dying day.

David is back at Camp Pendleton California for Marine Combat Training. He will be there until June 19, when he will go to his assigned Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) School at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, where he will be trained to be an Engineer Equipment Operator.

There is much more to tell, but I will let the photos do the talking.

Platoon 1029 practicing drill

Family Day - Moto Run

Liberty Formation

Sgt. Ric Jackson

Back to the barracks for the last time.

Graduation formation.

Sea bags at the ready

Pvt. David J. Miedema, USMC

DC Trip

It's been just over a day since Hannah and I returned from our trip to Washington DC. I was the trip nurse for around 80 7th graders and 20 adults. I'm just bursting with things I want to record about this trip - impressions, sights, events, people. So I want to get just a few things down before memories fade and I am thrust back into the reality of every day life. So here are a few impressions, in no particular order:

Size - I was surprised by the sheer enormity of many of the buildings in our nation's capitol. Pictures gave me a sense of the grandness of these structures, but I wasn't prepared for the size. The Pentagon, for example, could fit the Capitol Building into any one of its five sides! And the Capitol is no dinky building!!

Honor - I've never really thought much about memorials - monuments and statues that remember some important person or event. But the memorials I visited in DC - the Jefferson Memorial, the Lincoln Memorial, the FDR Memorial, the WWII Memorial, the Korean War Memorial, the Vietnam War Memorial, the Air Force Memorial, the Marines Memorial, the Washington Monument and many others are incredible structures that command reverence and elicit emotion. No expense was spared, no detail forgotten in the creation of these magnificant memorials. There is incredible meaning in these memorials, and I came away from each of them with a deeper sense of appreciation for those who are honored by them.



The WWII Memorial - Atlantic side.  Note the size of the people on the left.



The Lincoln Memorial



The Vietnam War Memorial


























Footsteps - I don't know how else to say it, but there is something significant about knowing that I have walked the same path, or touched the same object, as important people before me. Walking to the balcony at Ford's Theater by the same staircase that Abraham Lincoln would have ascended on the last day of his life; touching the same stair railing at Mount Vernon that George Washington would have held as he went up to bed each night, and standing in the same room at the White House that President Obama just addressed the nation from a few minutes ago.



The White House



The Presidential Box at Ford's Theater

 


























George and Martha Washington's Tomb

Beauty - I keep returning to the architecture, but there is simply no way to overstate the beauty of these magnificant buildings.

The ceiling of the Capitol Rotunda

The portico at Union Station



The Library of Congress





















Sacrifice - Everywhere we went, we were reminded of the truth that freedom is not free. Four of our students were privileged to lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown, which was an incredibly moving ceremony.

Nurses - There are many reminders of the unsung role that nurses have played in our nation's freedom. I am proud to be in such a noble profession.

At the Nurses' Memorial

Patriotism - No matter what your political persuasions, you can't help feeling patriotic after spending time in our nation's capitol. The evidence of our forefather's hard work to establish a very different type of government is everywhere. The reminders of what this nation has cost so many ignite a sense of pride along with a hefty dose of humility. We are blessed beyond measure.

Fun  - Finally, remember that this was a 7th grade, spring break trip. I'm certain that the impressions recorded above were not shared by all of my 12 and 13-year-old friends. I can only hope that as they mature, the memories of this trip will take on deeper meaning. I know that Gary and Jan Busby, Junior High teachers who have coordinated this trip over over 20 years, believe that. I was impressed by the teachers who served as chaparones on the trip. They love 7th graders, and believe me, 7th graders are not always easy to love! I was fortunate that nobody got seriously ill on the trip. There was a steady stream of headaches and stomach aches, but generally nothing a couple of Advil or Tums couldn't handle. And lastly, it was a great time for me to see what a great young woman Hannah is. She was kind to all of the kids, no matter what social circle they were part of. She was generally well behaved (OK, a little silly now and then), and I was very proud of her. Actually, I was pretty proud of all the kids. We didn't lose anyone, and with 80 kids that's no small success.

Goodbye, Elaine.

There's nothing like a funeral to put things in perspective. Especially when that funeral is for someone whose life was shorter than it should have been. I attended such a funeral today. Elaine Ostiguy, a friend from my church, died this week after a long battle with a rare form of cancer. If you are interested, here is her obituary:
http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/dclassifieds?Dato=20100624&Kategori=Obituaries&Class=30&Type=CAT1320&Lopenr=100600587&Selected=15

An obituary does so little to convey the richness of the story. Here's some of what Elaine's obituary doesn't say:

1. Elaine died 6 years to the day after her husband, Jim, whispered his last words "Goodnight, babycakes." He died at some point during that night. Jim was a marathon runner who was one of the healthiest men I have ever known. They never did find out what caused his death.
2. Elaine was a spitfire full of spunk literally up to the day she died. She was driven by an insatiable desire to squeeze every drop of living out of life.
3. Second only to her love for Jesus, Elaine's sons were her passion. When Jim died, and even moreso when she was diagnosed with cancer, Elaine's single focus was preparing them for adulthood. She succeeded. Her youngest, Nathan, turned 18 and graduated from high school this spring. They have their work cut out for them, but she left them well prepared.
4. Elaine touched a lot of lives, but not only in the way that was talked about in her eulogy today. She also provided the world with an opportunity to see the Church in action. Friends literally have had to hold her up over the past 6 years. Men from the church have managed her lawn, helped her move to a smaller home, fixed all manner of broken things, taught her to ride a motorcycle, and helped raise her boys. Women friends have brought uncountable meals, cleaned her house, did her laundry, drove her to doctor's appointments - even when they were in Boston, researched clinical trials and experimental treatments, held her, cried with her, and helped raise her boys.

I wasn't part of Elaine's inner circle, but because she was so transparent in her struggles and victories I was privileged to witness her journey. So much of what happened to her and so much of how she responded to it showed those who knew her even remotely that there is irrefutable evidence of God's existence. Jim and Elaine's story is the stuff of novels with a hefty dose of raw, and sometimes ugly, reality. You simply can't make this stuff up. They not only finished the race well, they ran it with grace and integrity. Though it seems incredibly unfair that a loving God would take both of these people so young, they taught us how to die well. And that is a lesson worth learning.

Reflections on a Half-Century of Life

Exactly 50 years ago today – April 5, 1959 – I made my first appearance on the planet. I love those websites where you can look up important events in history. So I looked up what was happening in 1959. Here are some highlights:

•Alaska became the 49th State of the United States
•Hawaii became the 50th State of the United States
•Fidel Castro came to power in Cuba, creating the first communist state in the west
•Mattel's Barbie Doll was launched
•NASA introduced America's first astronauts, John H. Glenn Jr, and Alan Shepard Jr., to the world
•The US Grammy Music Awards started
•The last musical from Rodgers and Hammerstein "The Sound of Music" opened on broadway
•The chartered plane transporting musicians Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and the Big Bopper crashed in a snowstorm near Mason City, Iowa, killing all four occupants on board.

People have asked me how if “feels” to turn 50. My first response is, “Where the hell did the time go?” Seriously. If I look back, here’s what the timeline “feels” like:

If you do the math, Brent’s birth should be almost midpoint on my timeline, but it doesn’t FEEL that way. Somewhere around 1982 I jumped onto a runaway freight train careening down a mountain. And it just keeps gaining speed. Frankly, I wish it would slow down a bit so I could enjoy the view.

I had a lot of things I had hoped to accomplish by the time I turned 50. Most of them I’ve achieved. Some I haven’t yet. Some I never will. For some people, like my dear husband, turning 50 was just another day. I, on the other hand, believe that some days are meant to be celebrated in a bigger-than-usual way. My family and a few friends surprised me Friday afternoon with an informal gathering at our house. I know that it took a lot for Al to plan it, and I was genuinely surprised and touched. Everyone that came leads a super-busy life, and I was honored that they carved a little time out for me.

But last night it hit - the sudden realization that, as Al puts it, I’ve just passed the 50 yard line and the end zone is in sight (with Al everything is either a sports or poker analogy.)
A very dear and deserving friend, who also turned 50 this past week, posted her birthday party photos on her Facebook page. There were at least 50 people there. They were all people I knew, dancing and having a blast. I felt like a jilted teenager who hadn’t been asked to the prom, and I realized that I probably don’t have 50 real friends to my name. Perhaps I’ve collected a few degrees, published a few articles, and achieved a certain amount of status in my career. But it may have been at the cost of what really matters – close friends, a healthy family, a strong marriage. And as my husband was laughing it up with his online buddies so loud I could hear him from the basement, I had a private meltdown in my bedroom.

This morning I went to church at Walnut Creek Community Church. Josh McDowell, world renowned author and speaker, was conducting a series of talks. Darrin led the music to open the service, and the band was definitely playing their “A” game today. As I allowed the music to infuse my spirit I realized that it is for THIS that God has brought me to this day - to see His work in and through my son. In that moment I recalled a time some years ago, when Darrin was in his teen years, that I asked God for a day like this. “If you will grant my children the faith to walk in your will, Lord, I can ask for nothing more.” While I may not have everything on my childish wish list, I have been truly blessed.

I guess turning 50 isn’t so awfully painful after all.

Thanks. Given.

This is the view we woke up to this morning. Why does the first snow always catch me off guard? I mean, it's not like this is somehow a random, freak event that has never before occured at the end of November in the midwest. But somehow I'm never ready. The Christmas lights aren't up yet, for Pete's sake!

But before we jump into that frenzied season that I find myself dreading more and more each year, I'd like to stop and relive the past few days. Not everyone was here this year, but those who were did it right, I think. Here's a recap of just a few of the things that thanks was given for:

Lucy, Mom, Dad, brothers, house, food, cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandparents - Hannah
Friends, food, cool games, awesome cousins, etc. - Rachel
My family - Rebecca
My DS - Carli


That during these economically poor times, our family is not struggling - Sheila


Both Dan & I being gainfully employed; healthy and beautiful girls; wonderful report cards from school - Sharon.


A home, a job, and my family - Al
My family's health - Dan


The memory of Mama Nell, and the realization of how much she prepared me for this time in my life - Papa


The incredible work that God is doing changing lives in downtown Des Moines, and my incredible family - Darrin.

Yes, there is much to be thankful for.