The Airing of the Grievances

My brother-in-law, Dan, has made sarcasm an art form. Last week he introduced me to a holiday I had missed while I was changing diapers in the Seinfeld era - Festivas. If you missed it like I did, here is a summary.



I was particularly attracted to one tradition of this fine holiday - the annual Airing of the Grievances. "This is it!" I thought. "The solution to the 'Bah Humbug' that overtakes me each Christmas!" So I've decided to give it a try. Who knows - perhaps it will become an annual December 26 tradition....

1. Al, I love you honey, but please cease with the Office Depot clearance gifts. At least take the price tag off so I don't know you paid less than a dollar for a Christmas gift. For pete's sake, it costs more to wrap the dang thing!
2. Kids, show a little gratitude, will you? If you hate something I give you, simply smile, say "Thank you, Mom!" and return it for something you like. Lie and tell me how much you love it, but that you'd prefer one in a different color, or a different size, or a different language.
3. And while I'm addressing the kids, it wouldn't hurt you to pitch in a little and help with the preparations. If you hadn't noticed, putting together the Christmas Eve meal is a heck of a lot of work. Don't show up in time to shove it down your throat and say, "When do we open presents?" If you want to win brownie points, come by the day before and help clean house.
4. To those of you who send Christmas cards, if you can't write even a simple note, don't bother. Hey, I understand how busy this time of year is, but seeing pictures of your family, reading your sometimes overindulgent letters, or even getting a simple note of well wishes is vital to my mental health. But those of you who only sign your name to a card are wasting the postage. I'd rather get a phone call.
5. To the snowplow driver...if you plow in our driveway one more time there's gonna be hell to pay! Shoveling out for three days in a row has been a bonding experience for Al and I, but what a backache!
6. To Brent, Darrin, and David...you should be ashamed of yourselves for letting your aging parents shovel out ten feet of snow by themselves while you were nestled all snug in your beds with visions of sugar plums dancing in your heads. What if your father had a heart attack?
7. Neighbors and friends...your generosity is touching, but if I get one more batch of fudge my thighs are going to explode! If you are compelled to bring food, how about some Christmas veggies? Or better yet, bring a fruitcake. I won't be tempted one bit by it and will feel no guilt in throwing it away.

There. That was cathartic. Actually, since I know that less than 10 people follow this blog, and none of them are on the list above, this Airing of Grievances has most likely fallen on deaf ears. Oh well. That's just as well. You know it's all just in good fun, right??

Christmas Morning - 4 a.m.

We had barely dug out of the last blizzard when the weatherman predicted another winter storm. It was reputed to be a storm that even Rudolph would be unable to navitate. Our neighbors to the north fell victims to its fury, but here in Des Moines we suffered the moderate inconvenience of a half-inch or so of sleet covered by about 6 more inches of snow. Our usual Christmas Eve gathering, which included Papa, Chris, Wyatt, and this year added McKenna, went off without a hitch.

After personally supervising Santa's delivery, I peeked out to see what the weather was doing and was struck by the beauty of the new fallen snow, which "gave a lustre of mid-day to objects below." All is calm at 4 a.m., and this morning all was bright. This photo does not do justice to the glow.

There was no want for gifts this year, but it seems that everyone except Hannah (who is so grateful for everything) was a tad bit disappointed. I feel sad for teens and young adults whose Christmas wish list includes items that are beyond even Santa's ability to provide. I remember the transition from the huge piles of toys to the paltry boxes of shirts and practical items that are needed but fall short in providing the same "Wow" factor that the new toys of childhood did. And then again, those ungrateful twerps!!!

As we woke to the challenge of shoveling out for the second time in as many weeks, Al and I worked silently to clear the driveway while our three testosterone-laden young men slept soundly. One of these years, we decided, we are going to the Bahamas for Christmas, without any children!!

Stocking Feet...and Other Things That Make Me Happy

It's been awhile since I've posted anything about Darrin and McKenna. They're doing fine. In fact, I'd say they are doing just peachy. Last Sunday they spent the afternoon helping me put the finishing touches on the new doors on the first floor (I still need to tackle the upstairs), waiting somewhat impatiently for the big pot of vegetable soup to be cooked, watching football with Al, and generally just hangin' out.

We've decided we love McKenna, which is a good thing given how much time she is spending with Darrin. I do have one complaint, however. McKenna is one of those people who can eat like a wolverine and stay georgeously thin. A lesser person might be spiteful about that fact, but me - I just fantasize about stealing her skinny jeans.

Mostly, I'm just happy for Darrin. He seems genuinely smitten. I remember those days of gazing lovingly into Al's eyes for hours, hanging on his every word, fascinated by his every gesture. If only it could be bottled.....

If it's winter....

.....it must be wrestling season! How quickly I forget just how long tournament Saturdays are when you're sitting on bleachers for 6 hours getting your eardrum shattered by the screams of overzealous parents. David won one of his four matches, but demonstrated a lot of improvement since last season. I feel confident we will see some more wins this season.

The Snowstorm to Beat All Snowstorms

They say we haven't had a snowstorm like this since the 1970's. Yup, it was nasty! Besides giving the kids 2 1/2 show days and shutting down pretty much every business in town (except hospitals, of course), it was the source of a couple of ugly arguments.

First, there was the argument with David about why he could not drive the Mustang to go out with his friends in the middle of a blizzard. Common sense did not prevail, and he decided to walk. He was back in about 15 minutes.

Then there were the periodic short arguments between Al and I about whether or not the city ordinance about shoveling the sidewalk applied to all sidewalks except the one in front of 9419 Hickory Drive, and whether it was wiser to shovel small amounts of snow more often or wait until the storm was over and shovel one time.

But the real blow up came when I reminded Al that HE was the one who has been too cheap to buy a snow blower, to which he vowed that he was going out to buy a snowblower TODAY in the height of the storm. Luckily, there was not a snowblower left in any store in town (I say luckily because had they jacked the price up by a cool grand Al would have gladly slapped the money down.)

Anyway, things are pretty much back to winter "normal," which is lousy any way you cut it. But at least we aren't cooped up together picking fights.


Shovel vs. snow drift...I'm not sure who won.


Yes, there are steps in front of our front door...somewhere under all that snow!

Eleven going on....

Middle School is an absolutely appropriate term. Kids in middle school are, well, in the middle. Between childhood and adulthood. Between grade school and high school. Between dependent and independent (although some people never seem to reach independence.)

I'm loving Hannah at this age. Oh, I'm sure there are rough spots ahead, but right now is a really great age. She is old enough to have some really intelligent conversations. She is smart and thoughtful and sensitive and has a great sense of humor. Last week was her first band concert of the year, and I can vouch for the fact that the band is a LOT better than they were last year!

Last night she and I stood in line for over an hour with throngs of other teens and their mothers (very few dads in sight, although there were a few young men who were obviously dragged by their girlfriends/wives) to see the sold out 10:30 showing of this.

We had a blast. We can both agree that whether we are 11 or 50, Edward and Jacob are cute little morsels, and that a good romance is always enjoyable. This is something that the males in our family just don't get.

Hannah has become my right hand helper in a door-staining project. While she isn't loving this job, she pays attention to detail and does a great job. And there are signs that she may even turn out to be helpful in the kitchen. Earlier this week Hannah asked if she could make some cookies. I had a boatload of work to do, so I told her she could make cookies provided I didn't have to help her in any way AND provided I didn't have to clean up the mess. Here was the result. They tasted even better than they looked.

I've always looked forward to the next stage of life for my kids. When they were babies I couldn't wait until they were toddlers so I didn't have to carry them everywhere. When they were preschoolers I couldn't wait until they were in school so I didn't have the hefty daycare bills. When they were in middle school I couldn't wait until they could drive so I didn't have to chauffer them to activities. You get my point. But since this will be my last trip through middle school, I think I'm going to try to enjoy this a bit more; to savor all the craziness that is middle school.

An email that made my day...

I receive hundreds of emails every day. No exaggeration. Email is a wonderful way to make communication more efficient, and at the same time email can be a curse beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Most emails I receive require me to respond in some way. Some I can immediately delete. Some I need to save for future reference. But almost none of the emails I receive cheer me up, make me laugh, or improve the quality of my day. This one was an exception.

A little background: Tuesday was Darrin's 26th birthday, and he had been sick for several days. He still wasn't feeling great, but being the good sport he is he agreed to go with McKenna to a belated birthday celebration for her father. I think the email will explain the rest.

From: Miedema, Darrin [mailto:Miedema.Darrin@principal.com]
Sent: Wednesday, October 28, 2009 9:30 AM
To: 'McKennaSprague@wellsfargo.com'; Altmaier, Greg; 'Justin Meyer'; 'Allison Meyer'; Miedema, Felicia A; 'ALLEN L FELICIA MIEDEMA'
Subject: Best Birthday Ever...

Okay, so I just need to tell you guys how awesome and special yesterday was to
me. I still can't believe it. I've never really been super into birthdays...so I wasn't really expecting anything. But you guys absolutely blew me away!

Thanks Mom and Dad for working with McKenna to surprise me with dinner...and for the sweet clothes from Von Maur!

Thanks Justin and Allison for letting us have a million people at your house, and for TOTALLY selling me on thinking we were just stopping by for coffee, and for the SWEET camera! Incredible present, and very timely. (Way to pay attention Justin! I didn't even know I wanted a camera...but then you got me one, and I'm like, "whoa, yeah I totally want a camera!") And thanks Allison for suggesting the restaraunt...very classy. :)

Thanks G-Unit for basically straight up punking me...HARD. You were the key element in making me believe that there were no further surprise shenanigans after dinner...so what I'm saying is, thanks for lying to my face multiple times throughout the day. Also, thanks for the two best birthday cakes I've ever had...I don't even know which one I liked more....the fighting jungle animals were awesome...but I also love the Pack...can't even decide. And thanks for taking that beautiful portrait of Schreiner, I will forever treasure that. (probably gonna tag you on facebook in it)

McKenna....where to start... Thanks for putting all of this craziness together. Thanks for creating an elaborate enough scheme to actually surprise me! Wow...complex. Thanks for gathering so many people that I love and care about...that was so exciting and encouraging. Thanks for the amazing gifts. Most of all...thank you for loving me! Thank you for being patient and kind and thoughtful and considerate...thank you for being in my life! I love you! :)

I love all you guys so much!
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! :)

Darrin Miedema
Defined Benefit Specialist - DRS08

Some days actually make you feel good about being a mom - this was definitely one of them. Thank you, Darrin, for loving us.

What the...?

Something is just fundamentally wrong about snow in October. But that's what we had this past Saturday. Mind you, it was just a dusting and was gone by mid day, but the weather that has followed since then hasn't been much better - near freezing temperatures and a continuous precipitation that has ranged between a drizzle and a downpour. Isn't this the time of year when fall foliage is supposed to be brilliant and crisp Indian Summer afternoons make for great bike rides? No such luck this year. It looks like autumn has completely bypassed us.

Despite the depressing weather, it appears that we have all survived the dreaded flu. Which is no small feat! This week we've had "emergency" H1N1 meetings daily (which kind of makes them seem less emergent and more part of the daily routine) and I have more information about the pandemic than I really care to have. Fortunately, it appears that the virus is milder than anticipated. Unfortunately, it is spreading like wildfire and patients and staff alike are beginning to be impacted. Since I now appear to have obtained my immunity the hard way, I may have to put on a pair of scrubs and help take care of the patients who are coming in sick!

H1N1

H1N1 has struck the Miedema household, and I've been getting lots of questions, since I now have first-hand experience. I don't claim to be an expert, but I do sit on the Mercy Medical Center H1N1 Emergency Task Force, so I get pretty up to date information from the Polk Co. Public Health Dept. I also spent time talking with our chair of Infectious Disease, Dr. Dan Gervich, the other day and he is undoubtedly an expert in all things infectious. Here are the most common questions I'm hearing:

What are the symptoms?
Well, for David and I the first symptom was a dry, ticklish cough that got more frequent over a couple of days before a low-grade fever started. For David, he ran a fever between 101 and 103 for about two days. It looks like my fever will be more low-grade - around 100. There are, of course, the general aches and pains; headache; sore throat (from the coughing.) For us, there hasn't been any nausea or vomiting, in fact I'm thirsty all the time which is a good thing.

How do you know it's H1N1?
Good question. At this point the diagnosis is pretty much according to symptoms. The rapid tests you can get at your doctor's office have between 10 and 70% inaccuracy. So some are showing Influenza A, a few are showing Influenza B, and in about 50% of the cases where the rapid test is negative for anything the person actually has H1N1 (assuming they have the symptoms above.) In 99.9% of all cases nationwide, more sofisticated cultures of those that are positive in the clinic are coming up H1N1. So, as Dr. Gervich said, "If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck...."

When is the vaccine going to be available?
A trickle of nasal (live virus) doses came to Polk County this week. Another small shipment will come in next week. Truth is, there will probably not be enough vaccine to ward this off. In other words, the horse is out of the barn, at least in Central Iowa. If you are patient enough to stand in line at the Polk County Health Department, you might be able to get the vaccine. Right now the vaccine is not available anywhere else in Polk County.

Who can get the vaccine?
Right now the vaccine is being offered to:people between the ages of 2 and 24, pregnant women, and healthcare providers 49 years old or less.

Why is it being limited to those groups?
Because those are the groups of people who seem to be hardest hit. 70% of the deaths nationwide are in people under age 24. Pregnant women have had some nasty complications. Healthcare workers have the potential to spread it like wildfire. Interestingly, as of the October 8 public health update, there had been no reported deaths related to H1N1 in people over age 65.

Does the seasonal flu vaccine help at all?
Theoretically, no. But some very early evidence suggests that people who have had the seasonal flu vaccine are getting milder cases of H1N1. This is very early, so the behavior of this virus remains to be seen.

Is the vaccine safe?
I'm biased on this one. I work in a hospital, so I see worst case scenarios. I encourage everyone to take the flu vaccine, but you have to decide for yourself. All I will say is please decide based on science, not fear.

If I get H1N1 will I die?
Gee, I certainly hope not or I wouldn't be spending this precious time blogging! The vast majority of people will be mildly to moderately miserable for about a week and then will be fine. David is on the upswing - after having 103 fever on Wednesday, he is now out mowing the lawn. The reported deaths are in people who have other medical conditions, such as asthma or diabetes. There is some evidence that morbid obesity is correlated with an increased death rate - that is probably because very obese people have a higher incidence complications associated with sleep apnea. This is primarily a virus that moves into your lower respiratory tract, so if you have lung issues, it is a good idea to see your doctor. He or she may prescribe an anti-viral medication that can lessen the duration and severity of H1N1.

Will taking vitamins, echinacea, or Zicam help?
Can't hurt.

If I get the the symptoms, should I see my doctor?
If you are basically healthy, the answer is probably not. Stay home, drink lots of fluid, take ibuprofen or acetaminaphen (you can alternate the two if you have a really high fever) and sleep. I know it's nearly impossible, but try to stay away from others. Cough into your elbow or a tissue, and wash your hands FREQUENTLY. Label a cup as your own, and do not share utensils. You know, the common sense stuff. If you run into trouble breathing, cannot get a child's fever down, are listless or lethargic more than is normal for being crappy sick, or if you have vomiting associated with the fever, we are recommending that you CALL your doctor and ask for instructions. Clinics are trying to minimize the exposure of other patients and staff, so they may take you right in or ask you to come in an alternate entrance. Or maybe not...pretty much everyone there probably has it also. Unless you really get into an emergency situation, please do NOT go to the Emergency Room. Believe me, the ERs are packed and unless it's a true emergency, you will not enjoy the wait!

I'm not sure what to title this one...

I can finally talk about it. Darrin and McKenna Sprague are officially "dating." I have to be careful what I post on this blog for all to see. You see, dating is a very big deal in Darrin's circles. It's not the casual, "let's just have fun" thing that it was when I was their age. (What am I saying? I was married with two kids when I was their age!) It's more like "dating with a purpose."

I are getting to know this lovely young lady and I'm pretty impressed. She's got a good head on her shoulders and a solid faith. It sounds like she has some experience with family chaos, which will come in handy if she hangs around the Miedema house for very long. But most important, Darrin seems simply smitten with her. And as a Mom, there's almost nothing better than knowing your offspring is happy. Although, in Darrin's own words, I'm not quite sure what she sees in him.

First Day of School

This week Hannah and David went back to school. David began his junior year and Hannah is a sixth grader at Summit Middle School. Hannah, especially, was excited to transition to middle school. David, well I think the photos speak for themselves.




It wasn't a dress this year, which must say something all by itself. But she did shower before school, dried her hair and even borrowed my flat iron to control those beautiful waves. Why is it everyone believes that stick-straight hair is beautiful until they have kids of their own? That book in her hand was a prop of her own doing - like she was going to read on the bus the first day of school? Right!



This poor young man is simply miserable. He can't even get out the door without his mother nagging him to at least take a pen in his pocket and one notebook on the off chance a teacher actually passes out the class syllabus. He firmly believes that there is a law against first-day-of-school homework and that his imbecile mother has had her head stuck in the sand. I honestly don't know how I became so hideously out of touch with reality.



But at least he doesn't have to ride the bus anymore.

Fruit Flies and Fantasy Football

It's been awhile. I've sorely been neglecting this blog (and numerous other responsibilities) because pretty much all of my time and energy have been focused on this:


http://www.mercywestlakes.org/default.cfm

Well, I haven't actually been directly involved in the Mercy West Lakes opening, but almost everyone else on our executive team has been, so a couple of us needed to stay behind at the Mother Ship, as it is affectionately referred to, and keep it from sinking. And that has meant many long days. Very long.

Mercy West Lakes officially opens at 12:01 a.m. on September 8. If you haven't seen it yet, it is a beautiful facility. In some ways, it looks more like an upscale hotel than a hospital. I'm sure the differences will be apparent to anyone who needs its services. It will be a wonderful resource to the western suburbs and beyond. Provided you don't have any complications that make you higher risk than the average person, you will be able to have your baby here, or your knee replaced, or even your heart tested. But if you have anything complicated or unusual, you'll still need to come downtown to the main hospital.

So what does that have to do with Fruit Flies or Fantasy Football? Truthfully, not much. But last weekend I took some much needed time to sit on my deck with family and friends and enjoy a beautiful evening. It was a perfect evening but for two minor annoyances: a swarm (is that the correct plural?) of fruit flies had taken residence in my kitchen, and it was fantasy football draft night. Both became a distraction. Which resulted in a life lesson that I'm not sure anyone else absorbed, but here it is...

I have a tendency to allow temporary distractions to overshadow an otherwise nearly perfect life. We all have those pesky distractions - flat tires, sprained ankles, spilled milk, dog poop on the floor, an unkind word from a spouse, rolling eyeballs from a teenaged child, money worries, health worries. Fruit flies and fantasy football and the opening of a new hospital. Good or bad, they steal our time and energy. They invade our sense of rightness. They mess up our plans. They remind us - remind me - that I am not in control of much of anything. Except how I respond to things - that I am in control of.

I don't always respond to fruit flies or fantasy football the way I would like. Sometimes I compound the distraction by expending more energy than the distraction warrants. All too often I miss the perfection of the evening because I'm too busy swatting and worrying and plotting how to change the situation - all to no avail. Jesus reminded Martha, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed" (Luke 10:41-42). The "one thing" Jesus was talking about was himself. He exhorted Martha, and me, and maybe even you, to pull up a chair, put your feet up, and relax in the blessings God give us every single day. Here's to celebrating the Every Day.

Family Reunion

I've been a bit delinquent at the whole blog thing of late. Summer seems to be flying by like a ridiculously aerodynamic rocket. The annual Schmitt Family Reunion took place back on July 18. Everyone was able to attend, and the weather cooperated beautifully. One thing I noticed is that everyone seems to be taking health just a bit more seriously, as evidenced by the menu: grilled chicken, grilled corn-on-the-cob, watermelon, and grilled summer squash/pepper medly. That's a good thing, because every one of us (except perhaps Sheila) could stand to lose a pound or two. Of course, it wouldn't have been a picnic without Mom's potato salad, which Dad and I collaborated on.

The after dinner wiffle ball game was another story. Sheila couldn't make it to first base without pulling her hamstring, and Dan couldn't make it to first base without tripping over his feet and cracking his head open. Sharon simply couldn't hit the ball. The kids were disgusted with us old folks, and eventually everyone lost interest. Oh well, we ministered to our wounds poolside over a few cold beverages later that evening while the kids had fun in the pool.

Here are a few photos. Enjoy.

Emma is quite possibly the cutest little niece on earth. Oh, wait...I think I said that about each of my nieces when they were between birth and about 18 months old. Then they turn into toddlers, and we parents know that they lose a bit of their cuteness around their second birthday. Unfortunately, it never returns. But for now, I'll pinch cheeks every chance I get.

The guys did all the cooking. Actually one guy. You can see him holding the grill tongs. Behind his back, I think. Oh, well, someone did some cooking.

My family, minus the parents. It took 57 photos to get one this good, and then I had to photoshop Darrin's head in anyway. Which reinforces the point I made above in my comments about Emma's cuteness.

The Clouds - before Dan's head injury.

More bars? Is this a cell phone add? Nope. I'm not sure where Abby was for this one, but otherwise this is all of the girl cousins, stacked in order of shoe size.

The Blancos.

Jason, Jo and girls.

My siblings and Dad. I pulled out the last photo of us taken in 2006 as a comparison. The aging process seems to be accelerating, but of course I'm speaking only for myself!

Wyatt and Luke with Papa.

Celebrate Freedom

This one is for you, Dad...

I can count on three fingers the number of times my Dad, Earl Schmitt, has been wrong about anything. But when he told me that deer didn't eat corn leaves because they were too sharp, I was suspicious. So armed with my new super-powerful zoom lens (thanks again, honey!) I set out to see whether he was correct on this point. Looks like he's wrong again. Here's the evidence. Oh well, four times in 75 years ain't bad. I'm wrong more times than that before I get out of bed in the morning!

Don't worry, Dad. You're still my hero!

Another Wedding!

This is Al's nephew, Kyle Miedema, and his new bride, Abby. They were married last Saturday in West Salem, Wisconsin. I was working at St. Francis Hospital in LaCrosse, Wisconsin the night Kyle was born. I remember his father, Ray, hunting me down to tell me his little boy had been born. He was so proud he was about to burst! I was privileged to be one of the first to see Kyle's wild head of blond hair.

I think it is the 5th wedding we've attended this year. Children of friends and friends of our children are getting married right and left. It's making me feel monstrously old. And yet not even a remote hint of marriage for either of our older boys. I worry I'll be senile before I hold my first grandchild.

It was also a good opportunity to capture a rare photo of all three of the Miedema siblings, Linda, Ray and Allen. My Al has been grey since he was about 30, but Linda and Ray have not a grey hair on their heads...what's with that?!

Old McDonald Had a Wind Farm?

When I was a young child growing up on a farm in northeast Iowa, most farmers had a little of everything - a herd of cattle, a couple of pig barns, some chicken coops, and fields of corn, oats, soybeans, and alfalfa. In the late 70s and 80s, farmers became more specialized. Large hog barns, cattle feeder lots, and huge chicken confinement buildings like my father had became the norm. Farming has always focused on raising either animal or plant products.

Until now. Witness the latest "farming" trend popping up across the plains. Wind farms! These farms harness the power of wind with giant turbines, and convert it to electricity which is sold to energy companies. Last Saturday we saw a couple of these "farms" just south and north of Mason City, Iowa. On our return later that night, red lights atop each turbine dotted the black sky for miles. If we hadn't seen the turbines in the light of day, we would have had no idea what the hundreds of red lights were. It was quite a sight!

If pigs "Oink" and cows "Moo," I wonder what wind turbines say?

Tournament Time!

Right now our lives consist pretty much of softball, sandwiched between work and softball and mowing lawn and more softball. So far we have had weekend tournaments in Adel and at home in Johnston. Next week it's a road trip to Mt. Pleasant, Iowa. The girls are winning a few games, losing a few games, and developing skill and character along the way. Because of this immersion in all things related to yellow balls, I don't have a clue what else may or may not be going on in the world. I'll have to trust the rest of you to keep me informed. In return, I'll treat you to a few highlights.